i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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