you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
