i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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