TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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