he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
