Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
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If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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