I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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