I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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