i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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