Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
