We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
