dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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