my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
