I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
