coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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