I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
