She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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