I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
