oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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