maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My ass is underappreciated
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
