Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
