is your mom at the bar?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
