is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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