It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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