So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Randomize
