I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
