do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
