what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
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