We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
