You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
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He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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