nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
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Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
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I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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