I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
