allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
