I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
