I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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