Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
