would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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