Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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