I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
