I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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