Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Houston, we have a blender
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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