From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
