Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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