How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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