i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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