he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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