I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
