Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
false alarm, still single
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
