Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The Olympian is in my bed
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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