how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
