How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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