dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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