If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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