Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
