Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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