Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize