Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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