he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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