FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
