i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
