Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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