The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
