do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
