just come out here and I will go home with you...
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
