Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.

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  (203): I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche. http://tfl.nu/n3n6
  Replies (4) Good night (2450) Bad night (605)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery

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  (254): When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery http://tfl.nu/move
  Replies (17) Good night (4572) Bad night (584)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.

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  (775): they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it. http://tfl.nu/g3nc
  Replies (19) Good night (5960) Bad night (877)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.

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  (651): She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can. http://tfl.nu/7y77
  Replies (9) Good night (3304) Bad night (1022)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?

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  (614): You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right? http://tfl.nu/6ebj
  Replies (10) Good night (3091) Bad night (1062)
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  (626): View more from California

  There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.

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  (626): There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you. http://tfl.nu/ru1c
  Replies (4) Good night (3281) Bad night (826)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.

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  (778): i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card. http://tfl.nu/h3qh
  Replies (3) Good night (1173) Bad night (1005)
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  (04): View more from

  This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.

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  (04): This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street. http://tfl.nu/uumo
  Replies (5) Good night (1907) Bad night (579)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.

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  (360): He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning. http://tfl.nu/j239
  Replies (0) Good night (661) Bad night (1076)
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  (323): View more from California

  Put some vodka in it

  (424): View more from California

  Its 7am

  (323): View more from California

  put some vodka in it

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  (323): Put some vodka in it (424): Its 7am (323): put some vodka in it http://tfl.nu/mu2b
  Replies (7) Good night (1959) Bad night (453)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm cool with that

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  (339): I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo (781): I'm cool with that http://tfl.nu/a1rl
  Replies (3) Good night (1383) Bad night (325)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..

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  (+44): I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far.. http://tfl.nu/4lu0
  Replies (2) Good night (323) Bad night (501)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.

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  (405): I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level. http://tfl.nu/exjq
  Replies (0) Good night (486) Bad night (298)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????

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  (513): CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT???? http://tfl.nu/8dlj
  Replies (3) Good night (509) Bad night (359)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest

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  (603): I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest http://tfl.nu/t4mw
  Replies (2) Good night (895) Bad night (277)

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