Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.

  (1-914): View more from New York

  That's cute.

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  (914): For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding. (1-914): That's cute. http://tfl.nu/zzhb
  Replies (27) Good night (1270) Bad night (2519)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?

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  (912): you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right? http://tfl.nu/mqjb
  Replies (19) Good night (2301) Bad night (6361)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?

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  (778): Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird? http://tfl.nu/7neo
  Replies (26) Good night (4219) Bad night (1021)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.

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  (215): you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'. (215): we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/6wc5
  Replies (27) Good night (6907) Bad night (995)
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  (315): View more from New York

  im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor

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  (315): im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor http://tfl.nu/m26k
  Replies (15) Good night (5676) Bad night (1013)
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  (562): View more from California

  or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.

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  (562): or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her. http://tfl.nu/io8a
  Replies (3) Good night (1934) Bad night (1339)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...

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  (816): I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility (910): well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is... http://tfl.nu/9yjx
  Replies (5) Good night (1796) Bad night (826)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.

  (1-770): View more from Georgia

  You're a good friend.

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  (770): I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that. (1-770): You're a good friend. http://tfl.nu/ln0z
  Replies (2) Good night (1324) Bad night (477)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.

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  (904): As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now. http://tfl.nu/x89u
  Replies (6) Good night (728) Bad night (391)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.

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  (617): I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities. http://tfl.nu/2ow7
  Replies (1) Good night (669) Bad night (349)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"

  (682): View more from Texas

  God please dont post that to facebook.

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  (817): you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe" (682): God please dont post that to facebook. http://tfl.nu/pwe8
  Replies (3) Good night (506) Bad night (564)
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  (626): View more from California

  Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?

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  (626): Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child? http://tfl.nu/0p9q
  Replies (3) Good night (927) Bad night (369)
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  (323): View more from California

  Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.

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  (323): Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all. http://tfl.nu/s4jk
  Replies (4) Good night (700) Bad night (322)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?

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  (719): Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night? http://tfl.nu/cfrc
  Replies (1) Good night (496) Bad night (302)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.

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  (325): I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you. http://tfl.nu/9prb
  Replies (4) Good night (360) Bad night (242)

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