Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker

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(303): View more from Colorado

You made eat vitamins until I threw up

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(561): View more from Florida

The beers last night were like the tears from god

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
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(201): View more from New Jersey

After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"

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(231): View more from Michigan

The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling

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(925): View more from California

Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you

Fav 11 1313 1998
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(386): View more from Florida

I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore

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(970): View more from Colorado

You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.

(1-970): View more from Colorado

Haahahahahahhaaa

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