Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only