So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'